Traditional Muslim Wedding

Overview

Followers of Islam live within cultures around the world, yet they maintain the traditions of the Quran in what is considered to be the most important ceremony of the Muslim faith. While the more conservative adherents prefer a simple, traditional ceremony with just local family and close friends attending, it is no longer unusual for the marriage to be a lavish and very expensive affair in many Arab nations where it is not unusual to have a thousand guests in attendance. Although a Muslim wedding is allowed at any time of the year, it is preferred that marriages do not be performed on dates when the moon is in the Scorpio constellation, on the last 2-3 days of lunar months, or on Wednesdays as these can be portents of bad marital relations or spiritual balance. The entire event usually lasts 4-5 days and is an occasion of great celebrating and happiness.

Pre-Wedding

The pre-wedding preparations follow a very traditional routine, occurring at the bride's house. There will be an exchange of fruits and sweets between the two families as the bride is entertained by joyous wedding songs from other female family members. In a Mehendi ceremony, the bride and her attendants will have henna patterns marked on their hands and feet. The bride will also have tumeric paste smeared over her entire body to give it a warm color. Traditionally, she may now no longer leave her home until after the wedding.

The Nikaah

A newer practice has become the leasing of large halls, hotel ballrooms, even auditoriums for the hundreds to thousands of guests invited to the wedding feast that follows the short but meaningful service, the Nikaah. The bride, adorned in clothing and jewelry, gifts from her groom's parents, will be in one room, accompanied by her father or grandfather, if she is a virgin or spinster. Her groom waits in an adjoining room. The Mahr will be agreed upon, to be paid directly to the bride to do with as she chooses. Both bride and groom must voluntarily consent to be married and sign the Nikaahnama register. As the Maulvi leads the couple in prayers of praise to Allah, he will offer a short sermon as well on the rights and responsibilities of marriage. Those important words, "I have given myself in Nikah to you, on the agreed Mahr," are spoken by the bride. The groom's response,"I have accepted the Nikah," seals the marriage in front of at least two witnesses.

Immediately After

The joyous celebration of music, dancing, and socializing that follows maintains the separation of the genders. However, for the first time the bride and groom may sit side by side with the Quran placed between them. They are only allowed to look at each other by means of mirrors. The traditional wedding ceremony calls for the inclusion of the poor and orphans at the wedding feast, and children perform Nasheed or Islamic songs. While there will be a huge variety of food, some small edibles are prohibited, and no alcohol is served.

Post-Wedding

The post-wedding ceremony involves the arrival of the bride at the groom's home where she is greeted and welcomed by her new mother-in-law. The Dukhlah, or public sending of the bride and groom off to live as husband and wife, may be either a simple or elaborate ceremony. Within a few days, the groom's family will offer a Walimah, an official lunch or dinner inviting friends and families of the couple to come and share together as new bonds and lasting relationships between the two families are formed. Although conservative Muslim families often encourage the bride and groom to plan a simple but meaningful wedding, more liberal followers of Islam use the occasion for extravagant spending and celebrating, while maintaining respect for the teachings of the Prophet and the Quran.